Tax Humor (not an oxymoron)

2008 Tax Offender of the Year

Russ Fox of Taxable Talk tells the story:

“Mr. Beale directed the bookkeeper at his company to first not withhold taxes on the $700,000 and then to pay him through an offshore shell company. He began to file statements with the IRS claiming he didn’t have to pay income taxes. In January 2006 he was indicted for tax evasion. Now, if you were indicted for tax evasion you’d get a good attorney, perhaps talk settlement with the IRS, and you’d certainly start planning your defense.

Not Mr. Beale. When his case was called for trial in August 2006 Mr. Beale was nowhere to be found. Mr. Beale told the Minneapolis Star-Tribune that he resided with friends during his fourteen months of being a fugitive. He went to Orlando and made the “dumb mistake” of using the same cellphone for eleven months to call his wife. He was arrested in November 2007 in Orlando.

His case finally came to trial this past April. Again, if you’re facing tax evasion and unlawful flight charges it’s time to hire a good attorney. Not Mr. Beale. He represented himself during his trial. But there’s more, and now we get to the truly Bozo aspect of this case.

Mr. Beale and three confederates decide to arrest the judge. No, I’m not making this up. As Joe Kristan noted (quoting TwinCities.com,

Robert Beale, 65, was charged Monday in federal court with one count of conspiracy to impede an officer and one count of obstruction of justice. Also indicted on the same charges were Frederick Bond, 62, of Champlin; John Pelton, 67, of Stillwater; and Norman Pool, 43, of Blaine.

“God wants me to destroy the judge,” Beale is accused of saying in court records…

The men issued fake warrants for Montgomery’s arrest, filed fraudulent liens, planned to disrupt court proceedings and planned to arrest Montgomery. The plans were concocted at meetings of their “common law court” in Little Canada and in phone calls from Beale, after he was jailed.

Going after a federal judge is an excellent way to make sure that you reside in ClubFed for a long, long time. And using prison telephones to threaten a judge is really Bozo given that calls are routinely monitored.”